{"id":304,"date":"2016-05-20T11:46:41","date_gmt":"2016-05-20T11:46:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coffeebean.mallinidesign.com\/?p=304"},"modified":"2016-05-20T11:46:41","modified_gmt":"2016-05-20T11:46:41","slug":"ok-this-has-gotta-stop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/?p=304","title":{"rendered":"Ok, this has gotta stop"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>And yet you haven&#8217;t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? We&#8217;ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we&#8217;ll go home. You can see how I lived before I met you. No, I&#8217;m Santa Claus!\u00a0You mean while I&#8217;m sleeping in it? I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians. Professor, make a woman out of me. I&#8217;m Santa Claus! Soon enough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And yet you haven&#8217;t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? We&#8217;ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we&#8217;ll go home. You can see how I lived before I met you. No, I&#8217;m Santa Claus!\u00a0You mean while I&#8217;m sleeping in it? I am Singing Wind, Chief [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":315,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/304"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=304"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/304\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/315"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytells.tech\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}